


How It's Gotta Be

by thisapathy



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-28 14:37:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14451372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisapathy/pseuds/thisapathy
Summary: How it's gotta be. Or, how that scene should have gone because Carl deserved better.





	How It's Gotta Be

Carl hears Rick's boots click against the pavement as he jogs after him. "Hey. Hey, what does that mean?”

 

“What I said,” Carl says, keeping his gaze straight forward. He can feel Rick’s piercing look on the back of his head. Rick catches up and Rick’s glaring at him. “You… _hope_ the guy makes it,” Carl continues, glancing at him. “It’s not enough. If you give a shit—“

 

“Carl,” Rick warns, point two fingers at him in some sort of _this-isn’t-the-end-of-the-world_ parental warning.

 

“If you care, you do something. You don’t just _hope_. It takes more than that. That’s what I meant. It’s gonna be something after the fight’s over.”

 

“Not for everyone,” Rick says.

 

“’Kay, yeah, but what about for you?” Carl asks. “You’re gonna live, Dad. Why are we doing this? Why are we fighting them? So it isn’t like how they wanted with everyone working for them, living for them? We’re fighting so it’s all of us working together for something more than just killing other people.”

 

Rick gestures to the road in front of them. “You think we’re gonna be out there picking strawberries with Negan?” he asks incredulously

 

“If that’s what it takes. It’s more than just hope. What, are we just gonna kill all of them? Finding some way forward, that’s harder. That’s something more. That’s how it’s gotta be.”

 

Rick shakes his head.

 

They walk in silence, footsteps falling in sync. Carl drifts a little closer to Rick as if their brushing arms will take away the ever growing tension. They used to be so close, so compatible but they’ve changed—Rick’s changed. When it comes to protecting each other and having each other’s backs they’re fine, but when it comes to finishing each other’s sentences, agreeing on basically everything and seeing eye to eye on just about anything, they fall short. They used to be inseparable but now they barely speak and when they do, the air is thick and heavy with resentment.

 

Carl looks up at the ever darkening rain clouds and thinks if they hurry they can beat the storm. But apparently Rick sees the sheets of rain coming and grabs Carl’s arm, tugging him toward what used to be a convenience store. The windows are busted out, the floor covered with dirt, dried leaves and yellowed papers.

 

“We need to get back,” Carl says, irritated.

 

“To the war you don’t agree with?” Rick half-teases, giving him a tired smile.

 

“Didn’t say I didn’t agree; your strategy could just be better.” Carl sets his gas can down. “Check the back?”

 

“Cover me,” Rick says, pulling his gun. Carl nods and does the same.

 

They check behind the counter and in the back room. There’s no point in searching for supplies; the place has been picked clean. They find a clear spot in the back room next to the freezer and sit down.

 

“It’s really pouring,” Rick says.

 

Carl nods and takes his hat off, setting it beside him. Rick scoots so the sides of their thighs touch and slides an arm around Carl’s shoulders.

 

“I love you,” Rick says into his hair. “I don’t tell you enough.”

 

Carl settles in the crook of his arm and rests his head on Rick’s shoulder. It’s been so long since Rick’s held him like this, he can’t even remember. Pre-Ron-shooting-out-his-eye, maybe? It’s been months. It’s always been a quick kiss or a too-long hug and here lately, it’s been none of those things.

 

“I love you too,” Carl says softly, resting his hand over Rick’s knee. “I think we’ve lost sight of what’s really important.”

 

“I wouldn’t say that,” Rick says, running his fingers though Carl’s hair. “Besides, I’m not the one with the mood swings.”

 

Carl laughs and lifts his head, kissing him clumsily. His eyes close and he grins at the feel of Rick’s beard against his skin.

 

Rick’s hand, large and rough and calloused, cups Carl’s cheek delicately, thumb brushing over his cheek. Thunder booms around them and Rick takes it as a signal to pull Carl closer, apparently, because that’s what he does and suddenly Carl’s on Rick’s lap and Rick’s fingers are tangled in his hair. If Carl’s being honest, Rick’s tugging just a little too hard.

 

Carl pulls back, cupping the back of his head and smiling down at him. “You’re fucking ridiculous.”

 

“Watch your fucking mouth,” Rick retorts, chuckling.

 

Carl gives him a soft, slow kiss in response and climbs off his lap, resuming his position beside him. He looks down, grabs Rick’s hand and holds it in both of his own. “I’m sorry I don’t agree with everything, Dad. I’m just trying to be what Mom would want,” he said softly.

 

“What can I say?” Rick sighs, looking over at him. “You’ve got your own opinions. You’re better than me. That’s all I could ever ask for.”

 

Carl kisses him again. “Can you promise me something?”

 

“What’s that?” Rick asks, voice gentle.

 

“Whatever happens, Dad—you have to keep going, okay? For Judith, for Maggie and her baby and everyone else. You have to keep going for yourself.”  


“Carl,” Rick says animatedly, “what the hell are you talking about? Is there something you’re not telling me?”  

 

“I’m not gonna live forever,” Carl says simply, shrugging, “none of us are; I just don’t want you to give up if I go first. Promise me.”

 

“Carl—“

 

“Promise me,” Carl repeats.

 

“I promise,” Rick says hesitantly. He sighs and pulls Carl a little closer, holds him just a little tighter than before.


End file.
